I was born into what seemed like a tribe rather than a normal family, having seven siblings. In my early years until the age of eight my family moved around New Zealand as my father was a full-time Baptist pastor. I found it difficult to accept Christianity. At thirteen I joined a heavy rock band and started learning martial arts. A deep interest in philosophy saw me reading books from my father's extensive library, especially anything connected with Eastern religion.
A close friend and school mate of mine died when she was only fifteen. This event, coupled with the darker influences of music in the genre of Black Sabbath and the like, started me on a journey into the occult, seances, occult literature etc.
I had all but written off Christianity. There were too many ideas which seemed to contradict for me. The theology of hell for example. The teaching that if a person rejects salvation for seventy years, God will punish them for billions in a fiery torment. This idea had no place in a mind that demanded justice. I would ask countless questions concerning such issues and receive cliche answers. This was the same God who declared an eye for an eye and tooth for tooth, even a life for a life. This is the God who punished His own Son for a few hours on a cross, but demanded billions of years of torture for those who chose to reject Him.
I was angry at such a God, after all, no one asks to be born and according to Christianity we are born with this sin nature which drags all of us into sin, indeed, we could say that we end up doing what is natural for us to do. No matter how much we try, we cannot remain sinless (in the sense of a child who has never committed actual sins) or reach a perfection lost.
I turned to eastern forms of satanism seeking answers. I spent years in Transcendental Meditation, spent thousands of dollars on courses learning to levitate, thousands of hours on karate and reading literature by Eastern philosophers including the rig Veda, Bhagavad-Gita and the likes, and ended up as empty as when I started. I kept seeking.
On July 19th 1982 I met someone I was convinced was long gone and dead. He opened my arrogant eyes to His truth, for He is Truth. I was 'born again', nineteen demons came out of me, and I fell in-love with my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Since that day He has answered my questions, dissolved the contradictions, healed my broken life and taught me to love. Everyday I marvel at His immeasurable grace and forgiveness, His willingness to love, call, and save a man who hated Him.
Serving Him is my first love, seeing souls come to know and love Him my greatest joy, worshipping Him the essence of my life, and seeing Him face to face my deepest longing.
It is my prayer that you find the One who is Truth.